Run : KHHH Run 104
Date : 19th April 2008
Hares : Shoeless and Blowpipe
Location : Dempsey Road Carpark
After much ado with Birthday cake and snacks, the Circle was finally called to order. Popeye called in the Virgins. We had Pei Pei from China and Janet from Singapore. After some commotion, they both picked a man to sit on their laps and were given a note. Next up were the First timers to Kampong Hash who were Julie and Colonel Syed Hashim from Seletar HHH with yet another rousing down down. Our Guest tonight were Sticky Tissue from Seletar, Pissmarck from Seletar as well and an old timer Bagless back for a visit to Singapore and our star lady hockey player Selena. What’s with the down down’s tonight. They seemed lacking in some sort of way.
Hand Job came into the Circle to announce that next month’s run was our Annual AGM slash Committee Run. It would be held at the Changi Sailing Club. Yes, same place as our 100th Run and yes, same place as Lion City were having their AGM Run (today in fact). We had so much fun the last time round, we thought we would try it again. It will be free to Members and Guests Fees were $40 each. It will include the bus ride from the Sportsman Bar on Orchard Road to the run site and the ferry ride to and fro Pulau Ubin and the bus ride back to the city after the night’s festivities. Free food and Beer. The AGM will start at 4pm which will only be open to Members and the Run will start moving off to the jetty by 5pm. Cheers were heard all round.
Our present Grand Master – Shoeless called in our future Grand Mistress in to sit on the ice. She was none other than Zipp. She reached a celebration which was that she completed 75 Runs on KHHH. She was given a bag which was so heavy (she claims) containing none other than our KHHH Patch. Hip Hip Hurray to the seasoned Hasher!!!
Next all the Scotsman were called in. AND there were so many of them…. Dogshit, Fool Cock Up, Black Eyes, Hellavacunt and Bagless. There were given a down down for St Andrew’s Day.
Shoeless called in the Birthday Celebratees who were Blowpipe (gone home to cook for the On On) and Hazel. Hazel borrowed Bald Eagle for a Quickie apologizing to Lazy Worm. Shoeless suddenly realized that he should also be sitting on the ice because it was his birthday too and he was the hare as well. He said he would be throwing 10 jugs of beer at the On On. Loud cheers for the Birthday Celebratees….. The On On will be at The Sportsman and its free (courtesy of Birthday Girl Blowpipe) and who ever gets there first will get the first 2 drinks free? Make up your mind about the beers will you. Ha Ha Ha…
Can we have the Hare on ice please and who would like to give their comments on the run? Janet since you’re new perhaps you could give us your view? She said she never expected this kind of run that is going through "mini jungle". She thought it was going to be all along the road. She’s happy she came out alive! Pei Pei from China gave her comments in Mandarin but basically said it was very interesting run twice and she was happy to know you all. Pissmarck came in and commented that he had never seen what’s his name – Shoeless someone so lazy. 2 miles and one piece of paper hanging. It seems Shoeless set his run with his dog who’s an alcoholic drink dog? The run started exciting then Sticky Tissue messed it up more than the hare and the both of them came back in 2 ½ hours saying it was a good run. Did the two of them forget that the hare said that the run was mostly on flour not toilet paper? Give the Hare a down down.
No Whip again. Malfunction has been missing since September. Very embarrassing, lah. So Popeye has stepped in to be our Whip tonight. He calls in Bagless 2 who was one of the fast running bastards followed by Gladys and Bald Eagle. A Circle Check was called and everyone must be blind . One f**king toilet paper and Bagless found it calling On On and everyone f**king just run. Give the front running bastard a note. How can paper be so far apart?
Popeye continued by calling another front running hasher namely Pissmarck. It seems when he came to a blooming check instead of what some people do - like look around or scratch their bum but no one stands in a bush and shouts checking. Give the stupid German who said he was sinking instead of checking a note….
Talk about being silly – Can we have Hellavacunt up on ice please! No, he’s not John. Since she spends most of her time with a hasher (Fool Cock Up), are you getting married or trying married life first? Anyway, she comes up to me (Popeye) and says "Hello Hooter". Don’t insult me – this is not a f**king hooter and not on skates too. It’s a f**king horn. Give the hooter herself a note please!!!...
Here’s another classic one – Janet was laughing – come and sit down on the ice since you’ve got a tight arse. On the run she was wearing a sling bag and suddenly her phone rings which she takes out and says hello so sweetly. Anyway during the run, she needed some assistance. Pissmarck gallantly asks "Can I help you?" He f**king molests her instead. Is this what hashing is all about so she’s joined up. Here’s to the new KHHH Member!
Today there were a lot of stupid people on the hash run. Hand Job get in. She promptly picks Shoeless to sit on his lap. Popeye asks her if she’s comfortable which she said she was. Before the run Hand Job was heard to say that she hasn’t had lunch yet. She was told not to worry and have one beer. She didn’t just take one beer, she took 3 beers. So much so there wasn’t enough beer for the front runners. Suddenly he calls Hazel to come on ice who she promptly picks Squire to sit on the ice for her. Lunch is supposed to be food not beer but Hazel called it "Tiger Soup". How stupid can you get. By the powers invested in me, I shall now pronounce that you shall be called "Tiger Soup" and christened her with flour.
Popeye called in Pei Pei. Dogshit ran up and fell flat on his face but promptly jumped up and sat on ice for her. Pei Pei was like a China Doll. Look at the way she is dressed for the run and how she drinks her beer. So lady like, all dolled up with fancy clips in her hair and she actually did the run? She must be able to walk on water and mud because her shoes are so clean. Dogshit must be desperate. BC what have you been doing to this poor man. BC, you should do this to him……
AOB was called. Dogshit called in Call Girl. She picked up her file and walked up to sit on ice. He asked her "How many runs have we seen her diligently writing away but how many of her reports have we seen? Shall we blame Hacker for not updating the Reports? NO she said "Its my fault". She was given a loud down down.
On that note – Thank you for waiting so patiently for my Circle Reports and my apologies for all the Missing Circle Reports. This is my final Circle Report as your Asst On Sec. I will gratefully hand over to my successor whoever that might be at the next Run being our AGM and Committee Run. ON ON…………
ON ON – The Sportsman at 545 Orchard Road, #02-01 Far East Shopping Centre.
Food personally prepared by Blowpipe.
Reported by Call Girl.