Run No: 42
Hares: Strapless & Tight Arse
VENUE:End Of Springleaf Avenue
Chap Go Mei Run
JM STRAPLESS called on the Virgins/First-Timers to KHHH onto the circle.
Kuaku from London (Ghanaian who claims to be an Englishman)
David from Zurich (Englishman working in Zurich)
Next Time from Silicon Valley
Hui Ling from DASH, the daughter of Doubleback who asked uncle Gypsy to be the chair to keep her bottom dry
After a bum cooling exercise, the visitors were told to piss off. Kuaku was heard mourning and groaning and walked as though he had durians between his legs.
GM Tight Arse called on Shoeless to sit on the ice. Shoeless was called useless for not sending out SMS message about the runsite. The ever grinning Shoeless took the shit instead of Nursefucker who was assigned that duty by Shoeless.
HeadNurse was called onto the ice and presented with her 25 run Plaque.
Nursefucker was then called onto the ice and given a birthday song and a down down. His Birthday is next week.
Red Baron then called the hares to freeze their most important body anothomy.
Gypsy was first invited to talk about the run. Gypsy said he was an accountant and very familiar with figures. He said some run goes in circle, some in the figure 8 and 11. This is the first time he has ran a run that goes like a figure 9. He said he does not know how the run was supposed to be and nobody in the circle knew, except the hares. In the end the run that was not supposed to be turned out to be a good run.
Bagless then spoke. He said he was as confused as Gypsy but nevertheless it was a good run.
Ad Nausem, then spoke . He said the run was too short and that the littleman that lived under the bridge was very nervous to see a bunch of runners visiting him.
Zipp, on behalf of her friend Kuaku, said Kuaku was so appreciative of the run as the terrain reminded him of his homeland, Ghana, except that Kuaku has never been to Ghana.
Ugly Bum, claims that because of the shiggy run, she has to see her doctor for infection to her Fanny and will send the bill to the hares.
The general consensus was that it was a good run. Red Baron said he wonder how the run would have turned out if all of us had done the actual run. He said he would have voted this the run of the year, except that this was not the actual run planned by the hares.
The hares announced that the eat out will be at Beng Cheng Restaurant along Thomson Road.
The Whip came marching into the circle dressed in Traditional Kampong Outfit, the Sarong. The sarong is defined as the easiest outfit worn by man for a quickie.
The whip called on Squire to sit on the ice. This dumbhead has been running with Kampong for quite awhile. The reason he missed today's run was because he thought the run starts at 6p. m. What a dreamer . Wonder who he is dreaming about?
Wiggly Willy was next on the ice. He did not run, but came for a stroll with his girlfriend and had the audacity to ask the whip, if he did the run.
Next Time and Iron Croutch was iced for being alive. They almost was involved in a fatal accident along the seletar expressway. Instead of taking the regular taxi, they took a pirate taxi, with an Indonesian lady as a driver. This driver who was not familiar with the Singapore road almost crashed along the expressway.
Iron Croutch was also accused of thinking that the man in the sarong was a Mee Siam seller, when it actually was the whip.
Peeking Ong was iced for telling the Whip that did not run as he had arrived from overseas the previous night and was suffering from jetlag. What he did not know was that the whip knew that he was one of the hares for the Friday run, which took place yesterday.
Woodbridge, this madcap was seen on the run running with a huge umbrella. What else can you say for someone with the name woodbridge. They are capable of anything.
Susie Wong, was heard bitching that the run was too shiggy. What do you expect when you come to the kampong for a run.
Phone Sex, Cum-In-Turd and Butt Wipper. Despite the beer given to them before the run, these arseholes were running like speedy Gonzales. That is ok, except that you must know where you are running. Along the canal under the expressway, all regular Singaporean level headed residents were seen walking by the side, conscious of every step, so that they will know where there is a hole or depression. But these uninitiated run along the centre of the canal, falling atleast three times like Nanak Busoh. (Rotten Jackfruit). Down Down to the Brainless.
Rusty Tits was seen walking along the shiggy area with his shoes in his hands, a he did not want to dirty his shoe. Since his shoe was so clean, the whip decided to give him a down down from his shoe.
Kuaku was iced for looking for a pub along the expressway and coming back to the runsite in a taxi with Vibrator.
Steve, Shoeless' cousin, was iced for telling the whip that he did not run because he had a medical condition. Being drunk is not a medical condition, so have another beer.
Tight Arse was iced for stealing the thunder from the whip by calling the birthday boy Nursefucker onto the ice. The whip had painstakingly prepared all the materials to bake a birthday cake for Nursefucker and the GM spoiled it by announcing Nursefucker birthday.
Nevertheless, Nurse Fucker was called onto the ice, stripped off his t-shirt and the GM was given the bakers job. The Gm then proceeded to bake the cake on Nursefuckers silvery hair with a lighted cigarette, placed in the centre as a good substitute for a candle.
Being Chap Go Mei, the Whip INVITED Charges from the floor.
Vibrator iced Rusty Tits for sleeping under a tree during Sunday Hash Run. Vibrator was inturn put on ice for not having a proper charge.
Cums-in-Turd was iced while he was discreetly talking to his Head Office under a coconut tree. Half the circle moved to the tree and the ice was brought near to the tree and Cums-in Turd was invited to sit on ice while talking to his boss.
The whip iced Shoeles for not teaching his guest, Kuaku and steve the hash song. They were told to go and practice and comeback to the ice to sing the song.
Gypsy was iced for not signing in his Bangladeshi guest who was sitting nearby enjoying the circle and hoping for a beer.
Strapless then iced Popeye for being the sweep and honking away when he was not on paper, thereby screwing the run that was so painstakingly laid by the hares.
The circle ended at 8.45pm and all hungry souls dashed off to Beng Cheng restaurant for a hearty 8-course meal. We had 47 people at the eat out .
A good evening, thanks to the hares
Recorded by Jackoff
Edited by Red Baron
17th February 2003